Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hope. Show all posts

Friday, April 1, 2016

HOPE AND CANCER: FEATHERS AND ALL

By Julia Forth

“It’s important to say what hope is not: it is not the belief that everything was, is, or will be fine. The evidence is all around us of tremendous suffering and tremendous destruction. The hope I’m interested in is about broad perspectives with specific possibilities, ones that invite or demand that we act. It’s also not a sunny everything-is-getting-better narrative, though it may be a counter to the everything-is-getting-worse narrative. You could call it an account of complexities and uncertainties, with openings.”
Rebecca Solnit
Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities

 

Writer, historian and activist, Rebecca Solnit’s book Hope in the Dark: Untold Histories, Wild Possibilities, originally published in 2004, has been reissued this year.  Although a book exploring political activism, Ms. Solnit’s articulation of what hope is and is not has a correlation to the idea of hope as experienced by people with cancer and their caregivers.  Hope is something that the Cancer Support Community (CSC) advocated for cancer patients and their families back in 1982 when it began as The Wellness Community and when cancer was mostly dread and death.  Dr. Harold Benjamin and his wife Harriet, who was diagnosed with breast cancer in the 1970s, founded CSC with its free psychosocial services of group support, classes, social activities and education.  The Benjamins knew firsthand the despair that cancer can bring and claimed a space for hope within the arena of life-threatening illness.  The seventies and early eighties were not often times of positive outcomes for cancer patients, or for open discussion of the anxieties that cancer brings to everyone affected by it.

Rebecca Solnit, also the author of Men Explain Things to Me, brings her journalistic eye, deep intellect and activist nature to this topic when she suggests a link between hope and action.  Emily Dickenson wrote, “Hope” is the thing with feathers –  that perches in the soul”.   A true subtlety of life, often lost in the blunt upset of cancer, is that hope stays on the ground with us and lifts us, everything together.  Hope is often thought of as something that safeguards us from gritty reality but, in Rebecca Solnit’s words, it is about “broad perspectives with specific possibilities, ones that invite or demand that we act (emphasis added).”

In 2016, treatments have improved, people are living longer and better, and the word “cancer” need not be whispered.  But, no one would deny that cancer does, at the very least, bring anxieties and sometimes a loss of hope.  Dr. Benjamin’s Patient Active Concept, revolutionary in 1982 and still relevant today, specifically encourages cancer patients and their families to partner with their physicians, to not be passive victims during the course of their disease but to take back control—in short, to be active in their own lives, to be active in hope and to welcome the possibility of change. 
Ms. Solnit talks about hope as containing “openings.”  Hope, as providing an opening for action, is exactly what CSC encourages.  Research now shows that CSC’s services of support and outlook of hope can enhance survivorship.  As cancer patients and families look for places to connect with others and for places inside themselves where the “thing with feathers” perches, CSC remains a place of hope.  CSC was created as a vessel for possibilities; it does not promise that everything will be fine but rather that life, at the very least, will perhaps be more vibrant in choosing to live as a hope-fueled, active participant, no matter the outcome. 


Julia Forth is the Executive Director of Cancer Support Community Benjamin Center (CSC)  founded in 1982 as The Wellness Community in Los Angeles and part of an international network of affiliates that offer the highest quality social and emotional support for people with cancer and their families.  To find a CSC in your area, please visit www.cancersupportcommunity.org or to learn more about CSC Benjamin Center in Los Angeles, visit www.cancersupportcommunitybenjamincenter.org or call 310-314-2555.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Dressing Up and Going Out

Victoria Moore is a writer and CSC member.


   I love doing makeovers. If that seems strange coming from someone who's been through Stage II Breast Cancer, it might be if you didn't know how it helped me get through my cancer journey.  Not only did it allow me to focus in a more positive way, it also gave me the chance to rejuvenate myself with the skills I had learned from my past experiences in retail. Equipped with every fashion magazine I could get my hands on, I studied fashion just like I had done before as a Fashion Merchandising student at CSULA. But this time I was doing research on my own since I couldn't afford to get a professional makeover every time I needed one.

 Now that I'm on the post-cancer drug part of my cancer experience, I'm faced with new challenges. My primary dilemma is how to psychologically prepare myself for a world where I have to consider permanent scarring, a prosthetic bra and budgetary restrictions. Despite all of my problems, I still want to look stylish and stay in the fashion game.

   While doing internet research for this blog, I came across an article "Breast Cancer Survivor: Fashion Hints After Your Mastectomy," reviewed by Charlotte E. Grayson Mathis, M.D., where Mary McCabe, RN, Director of the Cancer Survivorship program at Memorial Sloan Kettering Center in New York said, "Everyone needs to reassess their personal style after breast cancer."

   After reading it, I understood it to mean that I'd have to figure out how my clothes could express who I am today instead of who I was before my diagnosis. To do this, I started broadening my fashion research and including the internet. My favorite online sources are tokyofashion.com, Ivey Abbitz, Wasteland, Nasty Gal and Pinterest. While doing my research, I was able to compile my own magazine clip file for inspiration. It didn’t matter if I selected a fashion layout from "Elle" that featured a goth/romantic look accessorized with Victoriana from 2013 or an 2010 article from “Vogue” about pearls, because I was creating a fashion story that could stimulate my imagination.

    Lately I've been influenced by a Japanese style called "Dolly Kei" which is a "vintage-inspired fairy tale world" created by a store called "Grimoire." It consists of antique dresses, decorative hosiery, elaborate hairstyles decorated with ribbons, flowers and other props, pearls, antique gold necklaces and platforms or oxford shoes. Its femininity and use of flea market clothing is what appealed to me the most. My personal style includes the use of girly and feminine elements and the incorporation of second-hand and vintage clothing with modern pieces. I have been a collector and a regular thrift store shopper for many years now, so I've amassed an interesting mix of styles that I can go to whenever my wardrobe needs a boost.

   After studying 150 photos of the "Dolly Kei" event in Japan on Facebook, I started to resolve some my problems and even felt encouraged and hopeful. I looked at myself as a new person - I was still capable of taking style chances and was able express myself in multiple ways. I now feel more positive about the future and even look forward to getting up and getting dressed every day.

 

 

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

LOVE DOESN'T GET CANCER



Judy SilkThis post was originally posted in the December 27, 2012 The Huffington Post.  By Judy Silk.  Judy Silk is a stand up comic, freelance writer and blogger at judemablogma.blogspot.com. A California native, she requires little water.


I'm letting the bad cat out of the bag. My husband has terminal cancer. I don't say that word much, terminal. It sounds defeatist. When the oncologist says there is no cure, or the radiologist says we're just administering palliative care, I try and ignore the offending phrase. But the real truth is there is no cure. The definition of palliative is to treat the symptoms and pain without dealing with the underlying cause. Cancer is a nasty, nasty beast.

But we are living with it. And I mean living with it and ignoring it to some degree. Dan's had chemo for the last year and a half and is now receiving radiation as well. During the chemo years, he would have treatments once every two weeks, and then a break. The chemo week was sometimes pretty bad, but the off week was usually pretty good.

That is where we live: in the good weeks. I was a mess when I first heard his diagnosis: Stage IV recurrence of colon cancer. But a dear friend came and gathered me up, mopped up my tears and took me to see our rabbi. He hugged me until my sobbing subsided, then let me spill out all my fears and sadness. He voiced some pearls of wisdom, some sympathy, and then this. "We're all going to die," he said. "It's never easy. It's never easy when you're staring it down. But, don't go to the funeral today," he said. "Today, you have your husband with you. Today you love each other. Today you can be together. Don't go to the funeral today."

That phrase broke through the heavy curtain of my grief. Don't go to the funeral today. It even let a little sunshine in. He was right. Unlike a sudden death, we have more time to live together. We have each day.

So, I put on the cloak of happy caretaker. I pulled out my Obama campaign shirt from 2008 -- "GOT HOPE?" -- and it became my chemo ward uniform. It also became my mantra. For every day I have hope, I have oxygen. For every day we wake up together, I have joy. For every day we are a couple, I'm singing. I have this man for my husband. I'm beyond words thankful.

All this is not to say we never acknowledge the bum rap. Or that we never realize, separately or together, that we won't live out the sunset years together It doesn't mean that we don't talk to each other about it. But we don't have time to wallow in our plight. We don't need to. Cancer is random. It does no good to be angry. Being angry just takes away another minute, another particle of energy I get to spend with the man I love. People who know our situation wonder at our ability to stay cheerful. It's simple. We're here today. We get to be together, we get to be with the ones we love today, we get to hear music, hike the mountains, and feel the sun or the rain on our faces. Love is simple. Hope is oxygen for the soul.


To view original document go to:http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judy-silk/husband-cancer_b_2365309.html