THE VALERIE HARPER CANCER CONFUSION EXPLAINED

(Rodrigo Vaz/FilmMagic)
 By Raechal Leone Shewfelt 21 hours ago Yahoo Celebrity

Fans of "Rhoda" and "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" rejoiced Wednesday when Valerie Harper announced that she was "cancer-free" in Closer magazine.

Unfortunately, the excitement was short-lived. Harper, 74, soon after released a statement clarifying her comments as to how she's really doing since being diagnosed with cancer early last year.

"In response to a recent erroneous quote concerning my health, I am not 'absolutely cancer-free,'" Harper said. “I wish I were. Right now what I am is cautiously optimistic about my present condition and I have hope for the future."

The actress further described her condition during a new interview with Howard Stern on Wednesday to promote her guest arc on the Hallmark series, "Signed, Sealed, Delivered," which premieres this Saturday.

"In a nutshell, each eight weeks I have a brain scan — a non-invasive MRI — and consistently, in a straight line, it's gotten better and better," she told Stern. "Less cancer."Harper continues to take what she called a "pulse dose" of medication once a week (rather than every day).

Otherwise, she told Stern, she feels no physical symptoms.

Although Harper stopped short of saying she was free of the disease, the considerable improvement in her health has caused some confusion. How can a woman told she has three months to live by a doctor suddenly appear to be all better?

Malcolm Schultz, a psychotherapist with the L.A.-based Cancer Support Community-Benjamin Center, told Yahoo the cancer patients he's worked with in support groups over the past 31 years know that it’s not so simple in any case of the disease.

"Doctors are using the 'cure' word and the 'remission' word much less and are using the words 'no evidence of disease' much more, that seems to be the trend,” Schultz noted. "They're not necessarily saying that there's no disease there. It’s just that they can’t see it or test for it at this point.”

Harper explained her situation in much the same way on Stern's Sirius XM radio show: "They say it's terminal and this is incurable, because they don't have proof that it's curable."The former "Valerie" star, who had lung cancer in 2009, revealed in March 2013 that she had been diagnosed in January with a rare cancer, leptomeningeal carcinomatosis. The sad news followed an incident while Harper was rehearsing and thought she was having a stroke, because she couldn't remember her lines and she had numbness in her jaw and dizziness.

When Stern asked Harper whether she had brain cancer (as was widely reported), she quickly said no. "Imagine two pieces of saran wrap with spinal fluid in between," Harper said. "That's around the brain and up and down the spine and around the genitals to protect… [so] bacteria and infection don't get in there..."

Harper added that she only went public with her diagnosis because there were false reports going around.

The actress credited "great care and wonderfully researched new medicine" with keeping her alive.

Though she admitted her diagnosis was a tough period in her life, she said that now cancer does not keep her from working at all.

"In the beginning I cried a lot, I was mourning," Harper revealed. The news also prompted her to finalize her will and to feel more grateful.

One year later, her philosophy is simple: "Don't go to a funeral before the day of the funeral. We're all terminal.”

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Don't Say This to a Cancer Patient

 This post was originally posted in the July 17, 2013 of the The Huffington Post.  By Dan Duffy who is a Filmmaker & Co-founder, The Half Fund.


Eight years ago, I was working for a local video production company assigned with the task of telling the stories of parents who lived through the unimaginable pain of having a baby die in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, or NICU, at St. Louis Children's Hospital. What made this such an arduous feat was the fact that both my wife, Stephanie, and my editor, Megan, were pregnant at the time. It was a surreal experience in the editing room every day. Meghan and I would put together a series of shots, and then have to excuse ourselves at various times to cry.

And I have to tell you, it turned me into a raving lunatic at home with my poor wife. "Can I do this? Let me do this! Don't worry about lifting that, I'll get it! Can I get you anything? Do you have any cravings? Would you like a brownie? How's everything feeling down there? Do you need a blanket? Would you like to watch a movie? Would you like me to make a movie for you to watch? Are you out of prenatal vitamins? Do you want me to..."

SLAP

"Okay, never mind then."

I was saying all of the wrong things, and I didn't even realize it. In fact, it took me re-watching an interview we did for the project to finally see the light. We had interviewed this couple who told the harrowing story of how their baby died, and how the only time they were able to hold him without tubes and wires was in the few minutes after he had actually passed. They washed his hair and dressed him for the last time.

I still think of that moment literally every single time I wash either of our boys hair while taking a bath or shower. A few times I've even had to excuse myself right in the middle of lathering them up.
But the next thing that this lady said really shook me to my core: "And then people would say to me 'At least he's not in pain,' or 'At least he's in a better place.' No...a better place is in my arms. There is no 'at least.'"

The last blog I wrote dealt with people who get mad at God during cancer. Well I didn't quite realize the crap-storm that would follow from a fair amount of people. One that really struck me came from a woman who read our blog through the Stupid Cancer Facebook page. In a nutshell, it read something like, "I hate it when people say stuff like 'God doesn't give you a cross more than you can bear.'"
And all of a sudden, "There is no 'at least'" came flooding back. With that in mind, I want to share a few thoughts with those of us who are either friends or loved ones of cancer patients or caregivers.
For starters, we know that you love us, care for us, and want to comfort us, and we love and adore you for it, and are extremely grateful for your compassion and kindness. With that said, we will internally, and sometimes externally, tear you a new anus for saying any of the following platitudes.

1. "This may be hard to hear, but..." Going through cancer, life is beyond hard enough. Unless you've gone through it, it's incredibly hard to empathize with its level of "suck." Don't make it any harder. Which leads directly into...

2. "I can relate." Unless you have gone through chemo, radiation, and a ball (or other part) removal, it is almost impossible to be able to physically relate. Emotionally, maybe. Physically, meh. The odd thing is that people that have gone through this never, ever say "I can relate," or "I know what you're going through," and the reason is simple: if they do relate, story swapping starts. "You lost a breast and part of your jaw? That is awful. I lost my lower leg and now my heel is my knee. And don't get me started on those damn Pet Scans. Catheter, my ass!"

3. "This is part of God's bigger plan." If you want a cancer patient who loves God to start hating God, say this to said cancer patient. If he or she is not mad at God before this sentence is uttered, he or she is pretty pissed off now. "Wait, you think God did this? What a jacksauce!" Oh, and for an ever higher state of anger, as I said earlier:

4. "God doesn't give you a cross you can't bear." It takes hindsight to understand the higher purpose if that is what you are looking for. You don't stand in a burning building or fend off sharks while stranded in the ocean and think, "Well, this is all happening for a reason." You extricate yourself from the situation, and then you reflect...if you're still alive, that is.

And I will say this: at some point during the battle, God-fearing or not, we all have a cross more than we can bear. It's only when we have it that our limits are tested, broken, redefined and rebuilt. Every single one of us have, at some point, given in. I recently talked with an absolute powerhouse named Dr. Sheri Phillips, who is the national spokesperson for the Komen "3 Day Walk for the Cure." She told me about one night while battling breast cancer, she started feeling massive tightness in her chest. Instead of calling an ambulance thinking she was having a heart attack, she went to sleep, thinking "If this is how I'm going out, so be it, because God, I'm just so tired of fighting." And when she woke up, her limits were tested... broken... redefined... and would eventually be rebuilt.

HOWEVER...

To cancer patients and caregivers, you should not get mad when you hear these words coming from anyone: "I'm sorry you're going through this."

Lots of us try to throw those words back at the folks who say it. "Why are you sorry?" The reason people say it is simple: it's the right thing to say. It doesn't matter if it is reactionary. It's what should be said. It's not pity; it's love, affection, concern, or at a minimum...being polite.
 
The argument is "I'm sorry" is used as often as "Please" and "Thank you," and people have said, "They're just throw-away words." Well the next time you find them as "throw-away," have someone refuse to keep a door open for you at the mall, or hand someone a salt-shaker at the table and not receive a "thank you." Or my personal vexation...let someone into your lane, and then have them not wave.

"I'm sorry" is a polite way of saying "I don't know what you're going through because I can't quite relate, but it hurts my heart to know that you're suffering."

"I'm sorry" is good for casual friends, acquaintances, and even strangers. But if you are utterly close to someone battling, there is one sure thing you can say to make them feel even a shred of a whiff of a modicum of better:

"I will be here for you in any way you need, in any way I can."

And that's it. Period. Finito Mussolini.

So now that you know this, it's important for patients and caregivers to not be afraid to gently tell your loved ones where they can stick their platitudes, while also expressing gratitude for the fact that they want to make you feel better, even if for only a second or two. It is up to us to teach them, no matter how hard it might be to say.

Because in the end, by you being the a-hole, you're helping them to not come off like an a-hole. And no one likes being the a-hole...not even the a-hole.

Discover more at www.thehalffund.org


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When Your Husband Has Cancer You May Have to Lie

This post was originally posted in the July 22, 2013 of the The Huffington Post.  By Judy Silk.  Judy Silk is a stand up comic, freelance writer and blogger at judemablogma.blogspot.com. A California native, she requires little water.

Cancer is everywhere. It's probably just a function of my age (56), but I seem to know way too many people, close ones, who are affected.

My husband for one. He is my second husband, and the love of my life. We both needed to be divorced to find our way to each other, and consider it to have been beshert (the Yiddish word for "meant to be"). We got married with our children on a family cruise to Alaska. One year later, he was diagnosed with colon cancer. I've had to deal with that. I've had to be devastated, crushed, strong, hopeful and cheerful. My rabbi said to me early on, "Don't go to the funeral today," and I've taken that to heart. We live each day fully, lovingly and gratefully. But his diagnosis is terminal. Short of a miracle, that is our plight.

I was motivated to write this because I have known an overwhelming outpouring of support, concern and offers of help and love. I feel like I want to put a precision to these offers, and to the reality of what living with a terminal loved one entails. We sometimes want to dance around the fine points, but I'm hoping it would serve everyone well if I could articulate some details. After all, I want help and I know you want to give it. Here are some things you might want to consider if you know someone with cancer.

1. Accept that I am going to have to lie to you. When you ask, "How's he doing?" accept that it's in your and my best interest for me to be non-specific. So I have to say, "He's doing okay," and leave it at that. We can then be appreciative that you asked, and you can be thankful to not know more. They say the devil is in the details.

2. Don't tell us to give up sugar. I know you mean well with your solutions and alternative treatments. You want to share and provide an opportunity to do what no medical science can do, but you're also telling a dying man that he should spend his last remaining days, months or years torturing himself for NO REASON. At this point, we look at every day like a Last Supper. And I encourage him to do ANYTHING HE WANTS. We don't give up hope. Never. But I want him to have all pleasure, all indulgence. I want him to have the greatest joy he's ever had. Can you see why when you say, "Give up sugar and dairy and you'll be cured," it comes across like "If you don't deprive yourself, you are therefore responsible for killing yourself?" It's a really ugly notion and not valid in his case. His cancer is wide-spread. I shouldn't have to explain this to you.

3. When you ask what you can do for us, be ready for it to be something other than a casserole. Because what really helps are small things. Going to Trader Joe's? Give me a call. Nine times out of 10, I won't need it, but this might be the 10th time that I do. If you have kids my daughter's age, and you're going to a movie, maybe you could invite her? I don't mean for you to invent activities, and certainly not every week. I wouldn't want my daughter to think I'm getting rid of her, but it makes me feel less like I'm imposing if the invitation comes from you rather than me asking.

4. Call and invite me to kvetch. I may not, but I need some irrational venting. For me to complain about the cancer is futile. But that doesn't mean that I don't harbor anger and frustration in my bloodstream. So maybe help me by allowing me to unload it on some unsuspecting target, like say, a neighbor who has perpetrated a slight insult upon me. If I can heap my scorn on that deflective victim, it helps unravel the hurt.

5. At a certain point, families like ours do need a little extra cooking help. Not an onslaught (we don't have a big enough freezer), and not a schedule -- we're not to that point -- but occasionally. So you might ask if I have a recipe you could make, or if you're making some killer wild-rice salad, offer to bring us a quart? That kind of thing. But ask first. When I just get random quarts of foods, it eerily reminds me of being at the end point, and I don't want that.

6. Give me a coupon for a favor. Since I'm working, raising a teenager, still parenting a college kid and caring for an elderly widowed Mom who lives an hour away, I miss a lot. Things that occur to me that are helpful would be: offering to drive down to a pharmacy across town to pick up our increasing cornucopia of meds; offering to drive my teenager to an appointment or activity; having your kid offer to walk the dogs for us. Maybe if you're going out to dinner, see if you can pick something up for us. Even if we get it after we've had dinner, we may like to have it the next day. That kind of thing.

The amazing thing about this whole cancer experience has been the extreme outpouring of support from our friends and relatives. Everyone says, "If there's anything I can do, please let me know." But it's hard to be in the position of repeatedly asking for help. As primary caretaker, I don't want to look or be pathetically needy. I know that in my heart it makes people feel good to help out. It would for me. This list is just a guideline that might make it easier for us both to band together to support the one who ultimately needs it, the one who is no longer in the position to be too proud to ask for help. It allows me to acknowledge that I have more on my plate than I can handle sometimes, and I hope it's a good road map for us to work together to support the whole.

Thanks mostly for listening. Oh, and I have a really good recipe for paella. (Too much?)


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Dressing Up and Going Out

Victoria Moore is a writer and CSC member.

   I love doing makeovers. If that seems strange coming from someone who's been through Stage II Breast Cancer, it might be if you didn't know how it helped me get through my cancer journey.  Not only did it allow me to focus in a more positive way, it also gave me the chance to rejuvenate myself with the skills I had learned from my past experiences in retail. Equipped with every fashion magazine I could get my hands on, I studied fashion just like I had done before as a Fashion Merchandising student at CSULA. But this time I was doing research on my own since I couldn't afford to get a professional makeover every time I needed one.

 Now that I'm on the post-cancer drug part of my cancer experience, I'm faced with new challenges. My primary dilemma is how to psychologically prepare myself for a world where I have to consider permanent scarring, a prosthetic bra and budgetary restrictions. Despite all of my problems, I still want to look stylish and stay in the fashion game.

   While doing internet research for this blog, I came across an article "Breast Cancer Survivor: Fashion Hints After Your Mastectomy," reviewed by Charlotte E. Grayson Mathis, M.D., where Mary McCabe, RN, Director of the Cancer Survivorship program at Memorial Sloan Kettering Center in New York said, "Everyone needs to reassess their personal style after breast cancer."

   After reading it, I understood it to mean that I'd have to figure out how my clothes could express who I am today instead of who I was before my diagnosis. To do this, I started broadening my fashion research and including the internet. My favorite online sources are tokyofashion.com, Ivey Abbitz, Wasteland, Nasty Gal and Pinterest. While doing my research, I was able to compile my own magazine clip file for inspiration. It didn’t matter if I selected a fashion layout from "Elle" that featured a goth/romantic look accessorized with Victoriana from 2013 or an 2010 article from “Vogue” about pearls, because I was creating a fashion story that could stimulate my imagination.

    Lately I've been influenced by a Japanese style called "Dolly Kei" which is a "vintage-inspired fairy tale world" created by a store called "Grimoire." It consists of antique dresses, decorative hosiery, elaborate hairstyles decorated with ribbons, flowers and other props, pearls, antique gold necklaces and platforms or oxford shoes. Its femininity and use of flea market clothing is what appealed to me the most. My personal style includes the use of girly and feminine elements and the incorporation of second-hand and vintage clothing with modern pieces. I have been a collector and a regular thrift store shopper for many years now, so I've amassed an interesting mix of styles that I can go to whenever my wardrobe needs a boost.

   After studying 150 photos of the "Dolly Kei" event in Japan on Facebook, I started to resolve some my problems and even felt encouraged and hopeful. I looked at myself as a new person - I was still capable of taking style chances and was able express myself in multiple ways. I now feel more positive about the future and even look forward to getting up and getting dressed every day.

 

 

THE PHUKET LIST OR TEN THINGS I'M JUST AS HAPPY TO NEVER DO BEFORE I DIE

This post was originally posted in the October 7, 2011 The Huffington Post.  By Judy Silk.  Judy Silk is a stand up comic, freelance writer and blogger at judemablogma.blogspot.com. A California native, she requires little water.

We are all influenced by pop culture. Who didn't want to go out and adopt a homeless football player after seeing The Blind Side? And how many of you got your yellow labs after seeing Marley and Me?

It was no different with the wonderful film, The Bucket List, starring those icons of inspiration, Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. They portray two old guys facing terminal illnesses who goad each other into accomplishing some long held fantasies as they stare down that long tunnel with the white light at the end. It inspired lots of people to do the same, but to not wait till staring down the barrel of termination. There are now scores of books you can read in case you can't figure out how to make your own Bucket List; 1001 places to visit before you die, books to read, foods to eat, movies to see, horror movies to see, etc.

Mass trends inspire me sometimes. But just as easily, I can get contrarily inspired by what I see as the mindlessness of trend following. I was therefore inspired during one of my frequent visits to insomnialand to create my own list. Introducing The Phuket List. 10 incredible things I'll be just as happy to never do before I die.

1. Go to Phuket (Thailand)
Once a typhoon destination, always a risk of being a typhoon destination again. I get that it's exotic, and gorgeous, and the culture is amazing. But whoever said that lightning doesn't strike twice was being naively optimistic. So, I'll have to get my beach on in Hawaii. I know a typhoon could hit there too, but somehow it feels safer.

2. Trek to Nepal
I get altitude sickness. Enough said.

3. Ski Down the Matterhorn
I don't like going down hill fast. I don't like knowing that five-year-olds can snow plough, but I can't. If stopping weren't an issue, I imagine the whooshing and the gliding part would be enjoyable. But stopping is an issue, so the whooshing and the gliding part are more than a little terrifying. Besides that, there's the schlepping of the skis and the poles, and the loading on of layers, and the sweating, and the shedding of those layers, and the nose running, and the crowds. And, does anyone look graceful walking in ski boots? I find the Matterhorn at Disneyland thrilling enough. That snow isn't even cold.

4. Backpack Across Asia
Well for one thing, Asia is a large continent. For another, I'm not a big fan of camping altogether. Truth be told, I'm not so fond of sunshine or being all out in nature. So, carrying your food, your housing, your bathroom, your water, and your creature comforts has a cumulative negative effect on my mood. I think there's a reason we evolved into houses with walls. Separating from the elements is civilizational progress. I would hike between huts if they came with beds, flush toilets and food, but where's that going to happen?

5. Travel Anywhere Without Flush Toilets
I thought about giving an example of why this is so, but it grosses me out so much, I just couldn't.
 
6. Walk Up The Eiffel Tower 
 What happened, did the elevators break down? 

7. Skydive or Bungee Jump
As much as I like speed, and the wind rushing through my hair and all that, here's what I know: The instant both feet left the platform, I would have a heart attack, and feel myself dying in the slow, long 5 seconds of the plunge. I would however watch others jumping.

8. Have a Drink with the President
As much as I love this President, there's just no way it would turn out well. I would always know that I was nervous, and he was just being polite, and it would be awkward, and I would probably have huge regrets afterwards for all the things I could have said or asked but didn't.

9. Swim with Sharks
I've probably already done this. I think that by doing it without knowing it is all I can hope for. If I'd been aware of it at the time, I'm sure they would have smelled my fear and consumed me immediately. And even though I've read The Worst Case Scenario Handbook, I'm still confused as to whether you are supposed to defend yourself by hitting them in the snout or the eye. So, better I should focus on a dolphin or sea turtle instead.

10. Finish This List
I think you get the idea.

In closing, I wouldn't want you to think I'm against goal setting, or planning challenging adventures. It's just that I know what my parameters of comfort are, and will feel just as accomplished if I honor those while I live my life before I die.


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LOVE DOESN'T GET CANCER

This post was originally posted in the December 27, 2012 The Huffington Post.  By Judy Silk.  Judy Silk is a stand up comic, freelance writer and blogger at judemablogma.blogspot.com. A California native, she requires little water.

I'm letting the bad cat out of the bag. My husband has terminal cancer. I don't say that word much, terminal. It sounds defeatist. When the oncologist says there is no cure, or the radiologist says we're just administering palliative care, I try and ignore the offending phrase. But the real truth is there is no cure. The definition of palliative is to treat the symptoms and pain without dealing with the underlying cause. Cancer is a nasty, nasty beast.

But we are living with it. And I mean living with it and ignoring it to some degree. Dan's had chemo for the last year and a half and is now receiving radiation as well. During the chemo years, he would have treatments once every two weeks, and then a break. The chemo week was sometimes pretty bad, but the off week was usually pretty good.

That is where we live: in the good weeks. I was a mess when I first heard his diagnosis: Stage IV recurrence of colon cancer. But a dear friend came and gathered me up, mopped up my tears and took me to see our rabbi. He hugged me until my sobbing subsided, then let me spill out all my fears and sadness. He voiced some pearls of wisdom, some sympathy, and then this. "We're all going to die," he said. "It's never easy. It's never easy when you're staring it down. But, don't go to the funeral today," he said. "Today, you have your husband with you. Today you love each other. Today you can be together. Don't go to the funeral today."

That phrase broke through the heavy curtain of my grief. Don't go to the funeral today. It even let a little sunshine in. He was right. Unlike a sudden death, we have more time to live together. We have each day.

So, I put on the cloak of happy caretaker. I pulled out my Obama campaign shirt from 2008 -- "GOT HOPE?" -- and it became my chemo ward uniform. It also became my mantra. For every day I have hope, I have oxygen. For every day we wake up together, I have joy. For every day we are a couple, I'm singing. I have this man for my husband. I'm beyond words thankful.

All this is not to say we never acknowledge the bum rap. Or that we never realize, separately or together, that we won't live out the sunset years together It doesn't mean that we don't talk to each other about it. But we don't have time to wallow in our plight. We don't need to. Cancer is random. It does no good to be angry. Being angry just takes away another minute, another particle of energy I get to spend with the man I love. People who know our situation wonder at our ability to stay cheerful. It's simple. We're here today. We get to be together, we get to be with the ones we love today, we get to hear music, hike the mountains, and feel the sun or the rain on our faces. Love is simple. Hope is oxygen for the soul.


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The Downside of Positivity; Giving Yourself Permission to be Real

Sara Zuboff is a certified Yoga instructor, massage therapist and thyroid cancer survivor.  Along with Sharon Holly, she teaches a monthly, 2-hour, yoga-based workshop at the Cancer Support Community-Benjamin Center entitled 'Revive & Thrive' in which cancer survivors create mind/body shifts to overcome overwhelm, stress and struggle.   For information on this and other free-of-charge CSC programs, please call 310-314-2555 or visit CSC's website at www.cancersupportcommunitybenjamincenter.org

At a workshop I taught last week, one of my participants had difficulty completing one of the exercises that included writing a letter of encouragement to herself.  She explained that she felt mired in feelings of sadness, anger and loss and she felt guilty over having these feelings.  Sometimes, I think when we’re going through something difficult there is a pressure to find the positive, to be positive, even when we’re not feeling up to it.

 When I received my own cancer diagnosis I had two family members who were diagnosed with different types of cancer around the same time.  Shortly after I finished treatment, they both died of their disease.  I was so wracked with guilt over my own survival, and whenever I spoke about these feelings, well-meaning friends or family encouraged me to be positive, to remember the joy of my six month old son and the beautiful family I had started with my loving husband.  And while I did feel those things, the truth is I also felt an incredible heaviness from this guilt.  Unexpressed, it cast a dark shadow over my days, making me short-tempered and on edge.  Which leads to an incredibly inconvenient truth about emotions; left unprocessed they will come out sideways, disrupting your life in unexpected ways until you turn around and face them.  However, I promise you that once acknowledged and processed you may find that your journey to positivity is much more ease-filled.

So, I write this in hopes that you’ll give yourself permission to feel all your feelings, even the scary ones.  I do have some tips that have helped me deal with mine and I hope they’ll help you deal with yours.

1.       Journal--Consider using your journal daily or whenever the mood strikes.  Write in a stream of consciousness style with the intention of leaving it all on the page.

2.       Move--Walk, run, dance, box…let your body move!  Not only will this release” feel-good” endorphins it will help release trapped, negative emotions.

3.      Speak Your Truth--Whether it’s your family, friends, therapist, or you have to go out and find a tribe of folks who have or are going through something similar, find a safe place to verbally express how you’re really feeling.  Words have power and by giving yourself space to really express ‘what’s up’ goes a long way towards empowering yourself when it comes to taking care of yourself and those powerful feelings.

4.     Feed Yourself Really Well--Whether it’s fresh whole foods (and I know that sometimes during treatment, eating is the last thing you want to do but do the best you can) or books, movies and social media;  seek out that which nourishes and uplifts rather than that which further shuts you down.

5.     Remember That This Will Pass--It may feel like forever, but these feelings, given proper care will pass and new ones will take their place. 

One of the gifts I got from going through cancer shortly after the birth of my first son is realizing it is possible to feel more than one feeling at a time.  I had periods of intense joy followed by astounding fear in a short span of time.  The trick is being present to both and allowing them to cycle through; because no feeling, when given space, is forever.  That’s the beauty of being human.

MICHAEL SIEVERTS' TIPS/TRICKS TO RECOVER YOUR LIFE

Sleep (adapted from “Brain Rules” by John Medina; resources at end of blog for both 'Exercise' & 'Sleep')

Michael Sieverts is a brain cancer survivor since 2000. He is the instructor for Cancer Support Community’s qigong classes in the parks. Roxbury Park classes meet every Tuesday & Thursday from 10:30a.m. to 12 noon and at Clover Park every Monday and Friday from 9:30 to 11:00a.m. Free to all those affected by cancer. Call 310-314-2555 for more information.

 

Sleep is incredibly important, for cognition, for the immune system, for mood and happiness, so develop good sleep hygiene. Avoid going deep into sleep debt—accumulating consecutive nights of short sleep. “You can’t be healthy if you’re not getting good sleep”:

● Go to bed at a regular time, preferably before 11pm.

● Avoid stimulating activity for the few hours before bed, prepare.

● Avoid eating before going to bed.

● Don’t watch television, or work on a computer in bed.

● Use relaxation techniques to help yourself fall asleep.

● Use the bedroom only for sleeping and sex, not for eating or working.

● Keep the bedroom dark—light interferes with the functioning of your pineal gland.

● If you are occasionally unable to sleep, don’t stress about it, get up for a little while and do something else, preferably not too stimulating.

● If you feel drowsy, be extremely careful, you literally could fall asleep in a heartbeat—do not drive!

● If you’re having regular trouble sleeping, see a specialist.

Reading List and Web Resources:

Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by John J. Ratey and Eric Hagerman

The Way of Energy: Mastering the Chinese Art of Internal Strength with Chi Kung Exercise (A Gaia Original) by Kam Chuen Lam

The Promise of Sleep: A Pioneer in Sleep Medicine Explores the Vital Connection Between Health, Happiness, and a Good Night's Sleepby William C. Dement and Christopher Vaughan

 

http://www.bettermovement.org/author/toddhargrove/

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT FROM MICHAEL: 
NUTRITION (adapted from “Food Rules” by Michael Pollan and Maira Kalman)
Having difficulty sleeping? Try one of these relaxing classes at Cancer Support Community. All classes are at no cost to those with cancer and their families/support.
1)'Meditation' every Thursday from 6 - 6:45pm with Malcolm Schultz, LMFT; 2) 'Mindfulness' from 11:30a.m. to 1:00p.m. once a month on Monday (date varies check calendar) with Lisa LaCorte-Kring, LCSW; 3) Relaxation/Visualization every Wednesday from 6:00 to 6:45pm with Christel Trink; and 4) 'Mindfulness Series' with Lisa LaCorte-Kring, LCSW offered throughout the year--check calendar or call 310-314-2555 for information.

And exercise classes: 1)'Core Strength' every Wednesday from 6:15 - 7:00pm with Eileen Johnson, PT; 2) 'Feldenkrais Method' every Wednesday from 1:30 to 2:30p.m. with Marci Spiegler, MS, GCFP; 3) 'Move to Heal Dance Class' every Monday from 6:00 to 7:00pm with Eva Wieland; and 4) 'Pilates: Return to Health' every Tuesday from 3:45 - 4:45pm with Sandy Shimoda; 5) 'Qigong' (see schedule at top of blog) with Michael Sieverts; 6) 'T'ai Chi' every Tuesday from 5 - 6pm with Marianne Lu; 7) 'Yoga' CSC has 7 yoga classes-please check website for dates and times; 8) 'Zumba' every Tuesday from 6:15 - 7pm with Alejandra Ortiz. 

Always check calendar at www.cancersupportcommunitybenjamincenter.org for schedule changes or call 310-314-2555 for more infomation. CSC vallidates parking.

MICHAEL SIEVERTS' TIPS/TRICKS TO RECOVER YOUR LIFE

Exercise (adapted from “Brain Rules” by John Medina)

Michael Sieverts is a brain cancer survivor since 2000. He is the instructor for Cancer Support Community’s qigong classes in the parks. Roxbury Park classes meet every Tuesday & Thursday from 10:30a.m. to 12 noon and at Clover Park every Monday and Friday from 9:30 to 11:00a.m. Free to all those affected by cancer. Call 310-314-2555 for more information.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Properly done to avoid depletion and injury, exercise is one of the best things you can do for your cognition. Early human brains developed in almost continuous motion, hunting and gathering food, walking vast distances daily. Only recently have we become physically idle.

 

All exercise increases blood flow and oxygen levels. Increased oxygen to the brain is associated with improved cognitive function. Exercise rids the body of stress chemicals, and boosts brain power. It cuts the risk of dementia in half.

My observation is that the healthier you are, the easier it is to survive the treatments. If you have the “luxury” knowing that a treatment or procedure is imminent (as opposed to requiring an emergency surgery), prepare yourself by getting as strong as possible. Train as if you’re training for a triathalon, you’ll need all the strength you can muster.

Your regular exercise:

● Exercise daily, but not necessarily vigorously—at least 30 minutes, out in natural light and fresh air when feasible.

● Power walking, swinging light weights in your hands to involve your upper body, is a great way to get exercise. Human brains evolved as we walked great distances, and it remains the best all-round exercise.

● Gentle yoga, Feldenkrais, Qi Gong—explore to find the ones that work best for you.

● Any exercise that makes you feel light—that’s the right one for you.

● Avoid exercise that depletes you, which is bad for your immune system.

 

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT FROM MICHAEL: SLEEP (ADAPTED FROM"Brain Rules" by John Medina)

The Cancer Support Community-Benjamin Center offers many different exercise options for its members.   All classes are at no cost to participants. 1)'Core Strength' every Wednesday  from 6:15 - 7:00pm with Eileen Johnson, PT; 2) 'Feldenkrais Method' every Wednesday from 1:30 to 2:30p.m. with Marci Spiegler, MS, GCFP; 3) 'Move to Heal Dance Class' every Monday from 6:00 to 7:00pm with Eva Wieland; and 4) 'Pilates: Return to Health' every Tuesday from 3:45 - 4:45pm with Sandy Shimoda; 5) 'Qigong' (see schedule at top of blog) with Michael Sieverts; 6) 'T'ai Chi' every Tuesday from 5 - 6pm with Marianne Lu; 7) 'Yoga' CSC has 7 yoga classes-please check website for dates and times; 8) 'Zumba' every Tuesday from 6:15 - 7pm with Alejandra Ortiz.  Always check calendar for holiday changes or call 310-314-2555 for more infomation.  CSC vallidates parking.

MICHAEL SIEVERTS' TIPS/TRICKS TO RECOVER YOUR LIFE

Michael Sieverts is a brain cancer survivor since 2000. He is the instructor for Cancer Support Community’s qigong classes in the parks. Roxbury Park classes meet every Tuesday & Thursday from 10:30a.m. to 12 noon and at Clover Park every Monday and Friday from 9:30 to 11:00a.m. Free to all those affected by cancer. Call 310-314-2555.

 

Meditation:

There are many forms of meditation, and choosing one over the other is a matter of personal preference. I happen to like mindfulness-based meditation, as promulgated by Jon Kabat-Zinn—the tone of his advice is just right for me and many others, but it might not be for you.  You might prefer a meditation technique that utilizes a mantra, like Transcendental Meditation, or any of the other forms. No matter—you can use any one of them to deeply explore your consciousness.

The key thing to remember is that learning to be in the present, in the now, is both utterly simple and very challenging. It can take a lifetime to learn. Even the Dalai Lama says that he’s still learning.

There’s a reason they call it a practice:

When we are giving ourselves the experience of being relaxed, calm, alert and objective, we are practicing and perfecting mindfulness. When we are being tense or angry or anxious, we are practicing and perfecting being those states as well—BUT, if we are observing that we are going to those places while we’re doing it, we have the opportunity to take ourselves back to the relaxed place. It’s ultimately about cultivating an inner strength.

I’ve heard the distinction made between prayer and mediation is that when you pray you’re talking, you’re asking for something—and when you meditate you’re just listening. Some people call it “falling awake.”

There’s a huge body of literature, and courses offered everywhere, many for free.

You can study in classes, and go on retreats, which are great, but ultimately the idea is to be able to live your whole life with a mindful aspect. As my teacher says, “lead an ordinary life and make changes from within that life.”

Don’t let your environment throw you off, cultivate inner strength and the ability to not let your mind wander.

Reading List and Web Resources:

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn (You can Google Jon Kabat-Zinn for tapes, CD’s and online videos)

The Heart of Understanding: Commentaries on the Prajnaparamita Heart Sutra by Thich Nhat Hanh

http://www.plumvillage.org/

 

When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Library) by Pema Chodron

Fingerpainting on the Moon: Writing and Creativity as a Path to Freedom by Peter Levitt

STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT FROM MICHAEL: EXERCISE(ADAPTED FROM "Brain Rules" by John Medina)

The Cancer Support Community-Benjamin Center offers several different meditation options for its members.  All classes are at no cost to participants.  1)'Meditation' every Thursday from 6 - 6:45pm with Malcolm Schultz, LMFT; 2) 'Mindfulness' from 11:30a.m. to 1:00p.m. once a month on Monday (date varies check calendar) with Lisa LaCorte-Kring, LCSW; 3) Relaxation/Visualization every Wednesday from 6:00 to 6:45pm with Christal Trink; and 4) 'Mindfulness Series' with Lisa LaCorte-Kring offered throughout the year, check calendar or call 310-314-2555 for information.