Operation Luscious Life: Guidelines for Self-Care

Sara Zuboff is a certified Yoga instructor, massage therapist and thyroid cancer survivor. Along with Sharon Holly, she teaches a monthly, 2-hour, yoga-based workshop at the Cancer Support Community-Benjamin Center entitled 'Revive & Thrive' in which cancer survivors create mind/body shifts to overcome overwhelm, stress and struggle. For information on this and other free-of-charge CSC programs, please call 310-314-2555 or visit CSC's website at www.cancersupportcommunitybenjamincenter.org

I remember the day I realized I was just surviving. It was 3:30 a.m. and my oldest son had awoken from a nightmare while my youngest kept waking to feed. Rather than wake my husband and ask for help, I tried to tend to both children much to my sleep-deprived detriment as I got angrier with my inability to soothe them back to sleep. Fast forward three months and it is again 3 a.m., only it is me that can’t sleep. Laying there it dawns on me that I’ve only had one shower this week and it is now Thursday. This lack of self-care suddenly strikes me somewhere deep inside and I start to cry.

When you fly, they advise you that if you are travelling with small children and an emergency occurs to tend to yourself first, applying the air mask, before helping your child. To most people this will feel counter-intuitive, but absolutely necessary, not just for survival, but to thrive.

When you tend to yourself you have the energy and drive to help others. When you constantly make your own needs come in last, you may still help others, but inside you may begin to silently seethe as again and again your own needs are pushed back or not met at all.

Around this same time, I received a newsletter from Deepak Chopra asking what would my life be like if I treated myself like a precious child or a bar of gold. How would that shift how I treat myself and my life? These questions turned a light on the darkness of my own lack of true regard and self-care. It inspired me to start a journey I called, Operation: Luscious Life.

I’ve learned so much on this journey and the quality of my life has sky-rocketed with changes big and small. I feel like by living the answer to these questions, it has changed me fundamentally. I’d like to invite you to ponder these questions and allow the answers to manifest a full, more self-love filled life for you. To assist you on your self-care adventure, I’d like to share some guidelines that have helped me make the leap from surviving to thriving.

1. Experiment-This isn’t a go big or go home adventure. Little changes can make the deepest impact on how nourished you feel. I found myself feeling perpetually dehydrated and knew I needed to drink more water, but the problem was I decided I hated water. I mean in this Starbucks life, how “unsassy” was water? But I was determined. So, I started adding cucumbers or lemon slices and drinking out of pretty glasses. Voila, I was soon drinking 8-10 glasses of water a day.
Our days are filled with hundreds of small choices every day. Do not underestimate how, when the minutiae of your day is examined and shifted, the quality of those days shift too from parched to verdant and flourishing.

2. Be open to pleasure: When I was prepping for my radiation, I was determined to take great care of myself. One of those ways was ensuring I ate well. I created a spa menu of wholesome organic dishes and made all the meals I would need during my time in isolation. When I had my radiation, I felt incredibly sick. Eating was the last thing I wanted to do. Luckily, my sisters had sent me a care package filled with bath products made with all these wonderful essential oils. Taking a shower transported me from my bathroom to a Hawaiian vacation. It was lovely and needed. I ended up taking 6 showers a day and they totally saved me when I wasn’t feeling my best. Opportunities for delight abound. They are in the details. Be open to delight and you will find that life can and will astonish you.

3. Find beauty: Similar to a gratitude list, make a beauty list, whether a few a day or all in one sitting. List everything you find beautiful, again big and small. Albert Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” Life will challenge you on your journey. This list is to bolster you on the days when you doubt the miracle of your own life.

4. Zen and the art of the reframe: I teach affirmations in my workshops; which takes a core negative belief and reframes it in a more positive life. For example, “I’m too fat” becomes “My body is abundant and I’m learning to make healthier choices.” Usually someone points out that this is just changing the wording of the truth and that’s actually the point. The truth didn’t change, but our relationship to the truth did, from a point of view that shuts us down to one that uplifts. It’s important to remember the quality of your life truly is up to you. Make no mistake; authentic self-care is just as much an inside job as it is an outside job. And while we may lack energy for some big external changes, there is always energy for internal shifts.

5. Learn to say no: I have an amazing yoga teacher and at least once during class when we’re in standing forward bend she tells us to nod our head “yes” to the things we want to manifest. And then she instructs us to shake our head from side to side. I find it interesting that she doesn’t give us the opportunity to say no to what we don’t want in life. Saying no has gotten a bad rap, but the choices in which we say “no” to giving up our power, to playing small, to putting ourselves last resound just as loudly and importantly as the things we say yes to. There is a lovely saying “to live this life as though it’s your last”. I believe that is the mantra of authentic self-care. Experiment, be open, find beauty, reframe, say no and most definitely pass it on.

If you’d like to explore more self-care concepts, it is the next theme of the workshop I’m teaching with Sharon Holly, Wednesday May 29th at 11:15 a.m. at the Cancer Support Community Benjamin Center. Come play!